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I was grateful that a woman could look at me, look at her swelling womb, and decide ‘bad idea.’ I describe all this simply to point out that I was in no way an inherently heroic man. I was a human being, filled with faults and frailty, and consumed with the idea that I must fulfill my desires, and meet my expectations, if I was ever to live the life I dreamed of. And to this and I considered my own happiness paramount, disregarding the feelings of others, and taking every obstacle to my sense of self worth as a personal attack. I do not consider this behavior unusual – it is virtually ubiquitous, in my opinion – particularly among the very young. Acceptance is not easy – life had to hit me over the head with a hammer every day for many years to teach me that I was not in charge, and that those who blocked my desires not only were not doing it to attack me (even if they thought they were), but were simply pursuing their own happiness, because they were not in charge either. So I have. After partly climbing off my recently slumbered body, she glanced down to my crotch to see my morning wood making a fairly large tent in my sheets. (I sleep with just sheets because of the heat.) Her eyes widened and she gazed at it for what seemed like eternity. Taking a moment to clear her throat, she informed me of the plan for the morning and ran upstairs to whip together some breakfast. Did she just admire my morning wood? Should I say something? I decided not to point it out and just continued to getting dressed and ready for the day.After a delicious breakfast, we made our way to the boat and set off. With a view across the surface of water, you’d think we were looking into a mirror to see the mountains on the other side. About 10 feet out, I hopped into the water, lifejacket and all; ready to pop my skis on. On the count of 3, Chelsea hit it and we were off. About a 5 minute ride down the road is a slalom course just for use by skiers and she gave me the warning. I wove in.
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